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New York City International Travel Warning

Japanese Government Announces Level Cherry Blossom Warning

Minor Radiation Leak Nothing To Worry About

Only 10% of the Radioactive Release of the gleeful Chernobyl Disaster

Humans not affected, possibly mutations restricted to lower life forms, lawyers and politicians

New York City International Travel Report:

Japan has suffered another series of devastating earthquakes.  These tremendous tremors may have awakened Kathy Lee Gifford from her Asian retreat.  Some reports suggest radioactive fallout has spread to the ground water supply and already irradiated several layers of the ecosystem.  Due to bio magnification, higher trophic feeding levels will be subjected to ever increasing levels of ingested radiation.  If indeed aquatic species feeding on plankton and ectoparasite gnathid isopods build up levels of uranium and unstable radioactive material, fishing, whaling and skinny dipping might have to stop for several thousand generations of three eyed flat fish.

For the time being New York City International places an INTERNATIONAL TRAVEL ADVISORY FOR JAPAN until further notice.

Bronx Zoo Back On Track

The Bronx Zoo Replaces Egyptian Snake

Congressman Found in Borough Reptile House

New York City International Political Report:

After selling children’s organs for snow flakes in summer the distinguished Republican Congressman from New Delaware was found behind glass as the new mildly interesting American Politician exhibit at the Bronx Zoo.  Manhattan patrons felt cheated when asked to pay for the pleasure of watching a vile creature in a concrete enclosure with glass windows and a full tub.  Apparently in America, these political species are hardly going extinct, due to their hyper stripper breeding patterns.

The Egyptian Cobra has a Twitter following of over 60,000 with a 30% higher Naris Poll approval rating than Mayor Bloomberg.   “L. Spike” doesn’t even use content management systems with RSS feeds because it doesn’t involve white rats.  For more information go to NY1.com

Thank you for Reading from:

New York City International

April Fools!

Your Source for April 1’st Fun

GagsIntl.com

 

Spring put on hold

Easter Bunny not Welcome

Obama declares war on Easter

Radiation leaks in Tokyo created radioactive eggs


New York City International News Report:

Due to Japanese radiation and New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg’s budget cuts, this year there will be no giant Easter Bunnies and only two eggs city wide.  The eggs will both be painted by children and made into an omelet that the Mayor will eat at the teachers pancake breakfast.  Thankfully other areas of the country can afford home grown eggs, but unfortunately due to insane artificial mathematical inflation by computer programs, New Yorkers must import radiated eggs from Japan, along with spinach, sold at seven times market value in Korean delis.  Most Manhattan residents agree,

Because of the normal day to day firing of prolific incinerators and automobiles, New York experiences one of the highest ingested levels of radiation and radical carcinogens in the United States.  It’s hard to breathe here compared to Bora Bora!  Complained one Upper East Side asthmatic resident.

Soon we will have air rights auctions in President Trump’s Tower to see who has the right to breathe.  Which is good, who needs a free environment of breathable oxygen anyway?  We should decide finally.

My vote is that the Easter Bunny goes first since no one wants to give sick Japanese radiated bunny eggs even if they are painted, said Fox News more or less.

Buyers and Consumers BEWARE, WHERE WAS YOUR EASTER CANDY MADE?