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Posts Tagged ‘adolescent cobra’

Egyptian Killer Snake Loose in Bronx

Bronx Zoo Closes Reptile House

Poisonous viper on the loose, perhaps on a plane!

Samuel L. Jackson Freaks Out and moves to Brooklyn

New York City International Animal Report!

Mongoose Stock up 170 pts!

An adolescent cobra was lost in the Bronx Zoo sometime Saturday, NY sources report.  It is true the Bronx is a natural habitat for the big black snake with a large number of dark holes to hide inside.  Wildlife Biologist Expert M. Powers explains:

The Egyptian Cobra is quite venomous and could easily kill an elephant in 15- 20 minutes with one fart or bite.  Just the up close sight might be enough to frighten some New Yorkers to death.

Bronx Zoo workers are deeply concerned about maintaining their elephant populations after loosing two last spring.  Experience should prove a knowledgeable teacher for those interested in vacationing in the Bronx this weekend.  Stay away from the Bronx Zoo, Bronx Movie Theaters, Bronx isolated areas, and stay away from any massive black cobras spitting poisonous venom, that certainly includes the local Black Panther chapter and Black Mamba legion of the South Bronx.

Realistically it’s just another killer snake loose in the Bronx jungle.  More realistically the jungle is concrete with lots of sewers, rats and deformed pigeons.  We wish the Egyptian snake a long life in politics as the next political representative for the Bronx Borough.  We expect “L.Spike” to emerge coiled later this summer ready to clutch the election.  You heard it here, belly dancers, watch your toes!  There’s another snake on the loose!